WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
