Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
