My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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