is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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