so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
