That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Randomize
