Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
