my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
