i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
