omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I have fence marks all over my body
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
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