He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
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