and i looked up. we had an audience...
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
