Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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