Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
