dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
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One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
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I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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