i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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