I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
