i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
