Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Randomize
