But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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