Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
