I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
