I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
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he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
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You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
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