girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
