When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
