there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
