I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
