Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra