I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
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I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
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we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I need a beard to bite.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday