do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
he shaved USA in his pubs
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
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Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
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That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!