Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll

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  (248): Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll http://tfl.nu/ubae
  Replies (0) Good night (823) Bad night (900)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.

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  (813): Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago. http://tfl.nu/p2wp
  Replies (20) Good night (3801) Bad night (772)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller

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  (814): Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller http://tfl.nu/2xod
  Replies (9) Good night (2738) Bad night (837)
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.

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  (636): you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me. http://tfl.nu/k5hc
  Replies (4) Good night (6673) Bad night (1000)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?

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  (214): decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!? http://tfl.nu/ozc5
  Replies (31) Good night (9787) Bad night (1262)
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  (714): View more from California

  i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick

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  (714): i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick http://tfl.nu/4tuf
  Replies (35) Good night (7742) Bad night (1239)
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  (903): View more from Texas

  So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants

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  (903): So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants http://tfl.nu/066x
  Replies (12) Good night (3317) Bad night (1278)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom

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  (214): Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom http://tfl.nu/1svl
  Replies (6) Good night (1199) Bad night (2174)
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  (585): View more from New York

  I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.

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  (585): I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late. http://tfl.nu/de8d
  Replies (1) Good night (2919) Bad night (995)
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  (315): View more from New York

  mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'

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  (315): mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes' http://tfl.nu/oh7r
  Replies (23) Good night (912) Bad night (3693)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.

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  (905): Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants. http://tfl.nu/3ltp
  Replies (5) Good night (2054) Bad night (732)
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  (831): View more from California

  She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"

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  (831): She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock" http://tfl.nu/hp1z
  Replies (26) Good night (5101) Bad night (813)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.

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  (804): I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin. http://tfl.nu/8mge
  Replies (4) Good night (1365) Bad night (530)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.

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  (302): As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial. http://tfl.nu/egux
  Replies (4) Good night (1774) Bad night (528)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?

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  (512): Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night? http://tfl.nu/ccoz
  Replies (7) Good night (596) Bad night (445)

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