loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"