dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
