Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
