We won't sleep together?
your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
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i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
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They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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