It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
You're like the curious george of whores
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
