Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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