what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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