Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
