Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
