So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Randomize
