My girlfriend figured out who you are.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
