You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
