Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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