I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize