Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Randomize
