There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
