No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I FOUND THE LEGS
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
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