Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
