We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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