I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
