Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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