You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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