I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
