Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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