This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
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