I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
