I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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