Joe is yelling at the trees again.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
