Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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