Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
