Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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