Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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