But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize