Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
